Winners VS Losers

  • The Winner is always part of the answer. The Loser is always part of the problem.
  • The Winner always has a program. The Loser always has an excuse.
  • The Winner sees an answer for every problem. The Loser sees a problem for every answer.
  • The Winner says, “It may be difficult but it is possible. ” whereas the Loser says, “It may he possible but it is too difficult.”
  • When a Winner makes a mistake, he says, “I was wrong.”; When a Loser makes a mistake, he says, “It wasn’t my fault.”
  • A Winner makes commitments. A Loser makes promises.
  • Winners have dreams; Losers have schemes.
  • Winners say, “I must do something.”; Losers say, “Something must be done.”
  • Winners are a part of the team. Losers are apart from the team.
  • Winners see the gain; Losers see the pain.
  • Winners see possibilities; Losers see problems.
  • Winners believe in win-win; Losers believe for them to win someone has to lose.
  • Winners see the potential; Losers see the past.
  • Winners choose what they say. Losers say what they choose.
  • Winners use hard arguments but soft words; Losers use soft arguments but hard words.
  • Winners stand firm on values, but compromise on petty things; Losers stand firm on petty things but compromise on values.
  • Winners make it happen. Losers let it happen.

Taken from ‘You Can Win’ by Shiv Khera.

Having SMART Goals

If you ask most people what is their one major objective in life, they would probably give you a vague answer, such as, ‘I want to be successful, be happy, make a good living’ and that is it. Those are all wishes and none of them are clear goals. Goals must be SMART:

  1. S – specific. The statement, “I want to lose weight” is a wishful thinking. It becomes a goal when you pin yourself down to “I will lose 10 pounds in 90 days.”
  2. M – must be measurable. If you cannot measure it, you cannot accomplish it. Measurement is a way of monitoring your progress.
  3. A – achievable. Achievable means that your goal should be challenging, but it should not be out of reach, or the pursuit of your goal becomes disheartening.
  4. R – realistic. If your goal is to lose 50 pounds in 30 days, you’re being unrealistic.
  5. T – time-bound. You should set a starting date and a finishing date to reach your goal.

Goals can be:

  • Short term-upto one year
  • Mid term-upto three years
  • Long term-upto five years

Goals can be longer than five years but then they become a purpose of life. And having a purpose is very important. Without a purpose, you are likely to develop tunnel vision where you are obsessed only with achieving your goals. Goals are more easily achieved if they are broken into small ones.

Life is hard by the yard,

But by the inch,

It’s a cinch

– Gean Gordon

Taken from ‘You Can Win’ by Shiv Khera.

Having High Self Esteem.

What is self esteem? Self esteem is the feeling of self worth. It is the way we feel about ourselves. When we feel good, the world looks nice,our productivity goes up, and out relationships are a lot better. And the reverse is just as true.

The foundation of self esteem lies in self-acceptance. What does it mean? It means that ‘I accept myself the way I am.’ it does not mean ‘That’s the way I am’ or ‘That’s the way I will be’. That amounts to arrogance. Properly understood, self esteem is the epitome of humility.

Lack of self acceptance creates an identity crisis. The moment we practice self acceptance, we overcome our internal turmoil and are at peace with ourselves. We don’t have to prove anything to anyone in the world. We’re not looking for valuation from outside, which means we are internally driven.

Self-acceptance gives identity

Charlie Chaplain, one of the worlds greatest comedians, was passing through a European country where he saw an advertisement for a Charlie Chaplain look alike competition. Out of sheer inquisitiveness, he devised to participate. There were close to 500 people participating. To his total surprise, he came number 7. Charlie Chaplain wrote in one of his memoirs that when he came at number 7,he was taken aback. He wrote, ‘We live in a world where showmen succeed and a real man fails. A moment even I got confused if I was the real Charlie Chaplain or the six before me. Then I realised that though the other six could copy my looks and moves, none of them could match my mind and my attitude.’ Charlie’s attitude was driven by high self esteem, which came from self acceptance and gave him his identity.

He wrote,’I could laugh at life. I love dosing more than the winners enjoyed winning, because I knew I was the real Charlie Chaplain.’

One can even love to lose when one knows what one’s true identity is. Charlie Chaplain didn’t feel threatened as he didn’t have to prove anything to anyone. He writes frlurther,’More than my appearance, my mind and my attitude gave me my identity.’

He was not looking at acceptance and validation from the world outside; he knew who he was. He knew his identity, os it didn’t matter to him who won. People who live with self acceptance have high self esteem, they are stable and balanced. They are at peace with themselves.

Taken from ‘You Can Achieve More’ by Shiv Khera.

Eleven Mistakes That Hold Us Back in Life

You cannot build yourself by crushing others: If you build yourself by crushing others, you will be ripped apart, bit by bit. This is short-sighted, and you will self destruct. Trying to pull others down instead of lifting yourself up is both unprincipled and self-destructive.

Worrying about things that cannot be changed: Worrying equals to two unproductive days, today and tomorrow. Many of the worries are imaginary. They only create illusions of a problem.

Just because you are unable to do something, you think it is impossible: We create imaginary barriers justifying the task as impossible. Our inability to do something does not mean that it is not doable. Anyone who ever told you that ‘you cannot‘ said it because ‘he could not‘.

Majoring in minor issues: We waste life unnecessarily by majorinf in minor issues. We need to rise above petty and trivial matters.

Neglecting self-development: Just the way our bodies need food everyday, our mind needs positive thoughts everyday. Neglecting self development or personal development leads to degeneration and degradation.

Forcing others to believe and live as we do: Thrusting, penalising and coercing others to live by your beliefs shows close mindedness and arrogance. It also demonstrates oppressive behavior which emanates from insecurity.

Taking false credit: Not acknowledging the efforts of others and taking undue credit for the work done is selfish and lacks integrity.

Avoiding and ignoring your duties: Doing ‘what is pleasurable to do’ and not ‘what ought to be done’ is reckless behavior. It shows a lack of integrity and amounts to irresponsible behavior.

Favoritism: Being blind to fairness is detrimental to growth. Favoritism reflects on you as a person, it shows you either bias or vested interest.

Passing the buck: Not willing to accept responsibility, blaming others and hiding behind excuses is a typical behavior of irresponsible people.

Enroachment: Disregarding other people’s space and dignity, bulldozing and grabbing forcefully what’s not yours is larceny.

These are only eleven shortlisted mistakes among many more. The objective of identifying these mistakes is to reflect and learn from them, and eventually eliminate them.

Taken from ‘You can Achieve More’ by Shiv Khera.

How to Read a Book and Get the Best Out of It.

Here are some of tips for getting the best out of your books according to Shiv Khera.

  • Never lend or borrow any of your books to anyone. The reason is that whenever you read a book, you should alway underline, mark and make notes on the side. Your books should be your treasure and you mustn’t share them.
  • Sit down with a highlighter in hand while reading a good book. Always underline, mark and make notes on the side because someday when you will want to refer to it again, you won’t have the time to go through the entire book again, and can instead refer the notes and underlined portions. Besides searching for important material, in case its not been underlined or marked is a waste of time anyway. By following these methods you only reinforce your take home.
  • Another thing about reading a book is that if the first chapter does not entice you, or if you feel you’ve not received much value from the first chapter, you should stop reading it. A book is generally ten to fifteen chapters long of 150-200 pages. The first chapter would be one-tenth of the book. If you do not find much value out of that, then you probably won’t get much value out of the entire book. It’s not worth your time.
  • Additionally, in order to focus and concentrate, and insulate you from all distractions, switch off your mobile. Distractions dilute your power to absorb. They are the biggest danger to achieving more. A major differentiating factor between winners and those who are not is the ability to concentrate and focus. What winners achieve in one minute of focus cannot be achieved in four minutes by unfocused people.

Apply these simple tips to grasp and understand, in depth, what you are reading. Happy Reading!

Investing in yourself

Taken From ‘You Can Achieve More’ by Shiv Khera

Every thought is a seed – if you plant an inferior seed, you cannot expect a superior fruit.

We spend a lot of money on today’s fashion and trends. But, if we invested a fraction of the money above the neck that we so willingly spend below, we would be in a totally different bracket.

Input Determines Output

Where we will be five years from now depends on three things:

  • The books we read
  • The movies and shows we watch
  • The company we keep

Where we are today is also the result of these three things because they represent input that leads to the output called ATTITUDE.

The Books We Read

According to a research, on an average, a self made millionaire reads two to three books a month, which comes to twenty five to thirty books a year. In thirty years, that comes close to a 1000 books. They don’t just read any book. They read self-help books that help them grow in life. We all know how to read, but a very few actually read, and of those who read, very few know what to read. I’ve also written on how you can read a book and get the best out of it. If you want to read more about that you can check out my blog.

The Shows We Watch

We all watch soaps. What are soaps? Successful soaps tend to be smartly written, pretty and replete with plot twists and love triangles. In the best case scenario the soap becomes famous and viewers begin to incorporate the themes into their lives.

Soaps have led to the breakdown of the family unit and makes our society more time and drug prone. Toxic input damages the output. We need to stay away from toxic thoughts and people and need to flood our minds with enriching and positive material.

The Company We Keep

It is well said that bad company corrupts character. Winners surround themselves with winners who live their lives based on values and have the ability to influence their destiny. If we spend time with friend that moan, groan and complain about their jobs and bosses is it going to inspire us. Negative influences are so subtle that one does not even realise that each time we interact, we get pushed further into the wrong direction with the wrong attitude.

Remember that change is subtle and before you know, it’ll be too late. So pick the shows you watch, the books you read and the company you keep wisely.

Having a Win-Win Attitude.

Success depends on 10 percent on what happens to us and 90 percent on how we respond to it.

We All Have Two Natures Within Ourselves

Success does not depend on our position, but our disposition, which is our attitude. These are the words of Shiv Khera, a world renown author of various self-help books. According to him, we all have two natures within ourselves. Nature number One wants to do what is fun and convenient, which may or may not be the fun thing to do and could even be destructive whereas Nature number Two guides us to do the right things that lead to happiness, even if they are inconvenient in the short run. But the problem is, it is nature One that predominantly takes over nature Two. Good intention with bad action is common practice. We all desire to be good and do good but in the end, fall short. This is because the battle inside is to do what is easy, quick and convenient rather than what is the right and best thing to do.

Thinking, believing and knowing what’s good is not good enough. DOING IS.

Attitude is a Choice

Having a positive attitude does not mean that a person is blind to facts, nor does it meant that he has to agree with or accept everything in this world. It only means that he is a solution-focused person. It is the ability to see and smell an opportunity in every problem. It is a choice, and that choice is for you to make. Your attitude towards a problem makes all the difference.

Diseases of Attitude

Pessimism and negativity. They are as or even more dangerous than the diseases of the physical body and must be avoided.Who is a pessimist? He is well defined as the person who goes to the land of milk and honey, and the only things he sees are calories and cholesterol. They are the ones who have a problem for every solution.

Achievers look for solutions for every problem, and losers look for a problem in every solution.

Stop Being Negative and Look for the Positive

What do we really need to do? We need to change our attitude and thinking. Once we change our own thinking, we stop playing the blame game. When we address the real problem, which implanted in our own thinking, we find that life-physically,financially and spiritually-changes for the better.

According to an ancient tale once, an old Indian chief was teaching his grandson, imparting wisdom about the two wolves inside each one of us. One is evil, and the other good. The evil one was arrogant, selfish and egoistic. The good one is peaceful, calm happy and generous. The grandson was confused and asked, ‘Which wolf will win?‘ The grandfather replied, ‘Son, you have a choice. Which one wins will depend on which one you feed the most.

-Excerpt from ‘You can Achieve More.’